I am deeply troubled today, my friends. Check out the video that I’ve linked to below, and be terrified. I know this particular snack food commercial is a few months old now, and most of you are probably desensitized to its horrific content…but are we seriously expected to live comfortably in a world where Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head can be reduced to cannibalism by the sheer deliciousness of a potato chip?

“Here, darling, join me in the pantry for a clandestine ritual feast, where the only consumables offered are the crispy-fried flesh shavings of our friends and relatives.”

If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to lock myself away for a few days. I’ll be in the fetal position, sucking my thumb and crying for my lost innocence.

Oh, hey. Before I go, do we have any chips?


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